Ask for Help — Before Tragedy Strikes
On July 3, in Nashville, TN, my dear, sweet, 90-year-old father (a proud Veteran of two wars!) nearly died of a GI bleed. He almost did not call for help in time and was very close to dying that day. My StepMother was admitted to the hospital that same weekend with a broken pelvis. Several of my siblings and I flew from San Diego to Nashville during July and August to do what we could to help my Dad and StepMother heal and take care of personal business. They had been recuperating in the same nursing home for over a month before my father was discharged home by himself on August 19.My StepMother needed another week in rehab.
Dad did okay on his own for a few days, but something went wrong on August 25. He did not get to the phone in time to call for help. Tragically, he lay on his dining room floor for an unknown amount of time before his spirit passed on.
On August 28th, after two days of being concerned that my Dad had not been not returning our calls, we sent a close family friend in Nashville to check on him. When our friend arrived, the front door was wide open and Dad was found a few feet away from an open front door with pillows propped under his neck and hip. Evidently, his doctor had instructed him to do this, should he ever feel faint. The problem was, 911 was not called before my Dad opened the door. He was on his way to the phone, with all good intentions of asking for help…and then collapsed, just 20 feet from the phone. A horrible tragedy.
I tell this story in graphic detail because I want you all to think of a time in your life when you were in deep trouble and thought you could dig out of it on your own. Things got worse as you proudly or stubbornly struggled along, so sure you could do it all on your own. Then, once you realized you just couldn’t do it alone and began to make preparations to ask for help, it was too late. Or was it? Perhaps you thought your situation was so bad that it would be useless to ask for help. Not so… Unless you are dead. When you die it is truly too late. But as long as you are alive, help is there for the asking.
Holidays should be a period of great joy, celebrations and togetherness. For those who have recently lost a loved one (or even not so recently), the holiday seasons can bring out some intensely sad emotions. I grieve for the loss of a sweet, sometimes stubborn, always loving father, husband, brother, uncle, soldier and friend.
May you receive comfort and joy during the holidays and every day, in spite of whatever or whoever you may be grieving. And remember to ask for help, sooner rather than later.